My dear Codependent,
For the love of humans, please stop apologizing for your existence.
You’ll find a full life if you find the courage to be yourself.
There’s no one better to be. The rest of the world can’t connect with you if we don’t know who you are.
We can’t reject you either.
I get it. I know. Your mask and your apologies serve as your protection.
I was once you.
Everything was perfectly planned–every interaction a performance.
But nothing was genuine, and I could never be perfect (codependent) enough.
In time, I learned to drop the mask, the facade, and the expectations of others.
And you know what?
People didn’t always like me anymore! Ah! My fear realized!
But I did. I liked me a heck of a lot more. And my friends–the people who saw and only wanted me, not some facade–liked me even more.
Relationships become powerful and fake friendships fall away when you rip off your codependency. And it. Is. Worth it.
I see you fake happiness a lot, and I don’t blame you. A lot of people get that confused–believing that maximizing happiness is the goal in life or that happiness is the only acceptable emotion.
It’s not true. All emotions are good. We’re meant to experience the spectrum. That’s the only way we humans know what the heck is going on! Emotions are information and experience intertwined.
I’ve watched you numb yourself from uncomfortable emotions, but in that, I’ve seen you numb yourself from them all.
My dear Codependent, you can’t erase sadness without erasing joy.
Don’t numb yourself from emotional pain. We’re meant to feel. It’s the only way we’ll recognize joy when it happens. You don’t want to miss that.
Joy is not the happiness you fake; it’s something unmistakable, irreplaceable, and heaven-sent.
We only know joy when we’ve known pain. Sadness, depression, frustration, anger, melancholia.
So stop hiding from your own experience and from others. We’re meant to be seen and to feel–fully and truly.
Perhaps I should leave you now before I piss you off too much (feel the anger–it’s information, remember).
I hope you take the risk in and for yourself–to actually show yourself to the world and find out if you are enough.
And you are.
You always were.